If you have ever wondered what it is like to have a chronic, painful illness for which there is no cure; this piece gives a snapshot of what many days/hours are like. Please note, it was not written to illicit sympathy or receive suggestions on treatment; it was written to describe part of my daily reality. O spiritual traveler, may your days be filled with sunshine and good health.
Pills of Forgetfulness
I sit and look out my window and watch the occasional vehicle go rushing by. People always in a hurry; my days of rushing to and fro are far, far behind me. Now I sit and watch others ‘with their important lives,’ having someplace they need to go.
Once I was like this. Now the only place I need to be is beside this window trying to decide when to take my medication to ease the pain that flows through my body. These pills help in one way-reduce some of the misery- but take me to a desolate place; robbing me of desire and physical ability to do things.
At this moment, which haze do I wish to live in?
And when I turn to that other station in my mind, focusing on the transcendent, I can only sip of this nectar for a short time. Eventually, my mind throbs and my body aches again, calling me back to this window and pills of forgetfulness.
-SB
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