Perhaps one day all of this will make sense to me again. What used to be no longer is and cannot be again. As I experience much of what I thought important fade, I wonder what remains?
In my memories, I keep going back to a time when everything was new. I was just starting out in the world, leaving home for the first time and had the expectation of exciting things to come. I was physically strong/healthy and so many new experiences lay ahead. Working in a sleep-away summer camp, alongside a beautiful lake, part of a talented team, creating an environment for campers that was fun and varied. In the fall, off to residential college- on my own with only my thoughts and desires to answer too. There was purpose, dreams of going, doing and becoming.
Now these dreams have left me and slowly I turn my gaze to that distant world where the images are not so clear. These new dreams while very real are not easily grasped and I must work using other capacities to see them. While we are spiritual beings, the physical must step back for this perception to operate and is reluctant to do so.
Slowly, new dreams are emerging and awakening a vision, of the next place, to carry me forward.
-SB
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